Hi Everyone!

Firstly, our apologies to all of our faithful readers for the lack of entries on here the past few weeks. We have spent a lot more time “doing” and less time writing about it J. Don’t worry! Nothing bad has happened! Here are a few of the highlights:

· Alex had his regular check-up last week. He is a perfectly, healthy little boy. Well, little isn’t the correct word. He is in the 80-85^th percentile in height and weight. And that’s for his birth date and not corrected for his due date. He’d be close to 100% if we used that date! So basically, he’s taller and heavier than 80-85% of other 2.5 year old children. Not bad for someone that was among the smallest babies in the NICU!

· His speech has improved leaps and bounds as he learns new words every day. He surprises us all day long with words we’d never heard him use before. From airplane to bug . . . he’s got it all covered!

· Speaking of airplanes, he especially likes when daddy runs with him in his arms as Alex spreads his wings to fly around the back yard. He laughs and laughs until daddy collapses from the strain.

· We bought a new family trailer and van recently so we can begin family holidays. Alex, not knowing we brought the new trailer home one late evening, came walking out the front door on our way to the day home. He turns the corner, sees the trailer in the driveway and yells out “woooohhh!” It was a priceless reaction. We have a couple week vacation planned with grandma and grandpa at the end of July and then an exciting Labour day weekend with Auntie Laurie and Uncle Randy!

· Alex has a new buddy . . . our next door neighbours have a boy just a few months older than Alex. His name is Austen. They now look for each other when they are home and play in each other’s back yards. Chasing, running, pushing, laughing. They have a great time together. Alex’s first really buddy. It’s so fun to watch them play in the back yards together.

· Alex recently had his last day at playschool before moving on to early intervention next fall. This past year has been a wonderful time for all of us and we’ll miss his teacher’s. Two of the loveliest ladies.

· Laurina and I were asked to return to the NICU last week to participate in a presentation on two research studies on family focussed care that was presented via video conference to all hospitals in Edmonton. In a first, we had been invited to participate in these “rounds” by presenting our story and our experiences as a family. It was difficult, at times, reliving some of our experiences in such a public forum, but we knew that what we had to say would be taken to heart. Many of Andrew and Alex’s Doctors were there along with many of the Nurses, Nurse Practictioners and other members of their medical teams. It was wonderful to see them. Perhaps the most powerful moment was when we shared our experience of holding Alex as he was about to pass away . . . then to show a picture of Alex today . . . the one you see above. It is a great reward for those professionals to see such a success. We were reminded once again that Alex had been the first baby . . . so sick . . . to be taken from an isollette to be held. And it was that moment that gave him his life. People have not forgotten.

There are so many others stories to share that we just can’t remember them all. Life changes daily around our place. We’re always laughing at something Alex does. He amazes us every day . . . we are so blessed to have him in our lives and Andrew in our heavens. Just recently, we have been sent a note from Yahoo that this blog site will be closing on July 13. They have given us an opportunity to download all of our texts which I will save for Alex to read one day. Along with all of the emails we have received from so many of you over the last 2.5 years.

We knew this time would have to come eventually so we decided that now would be as good a time as any to say farewell to our blog site and to thank all of you for allowing us into your homes and into your hearts. Through your support, kindness, words and prayers . . . Laurina and I have been able to turn a tragedy into blessing after blessing. We will always remember and be grateful to each and every one of you.

Although as we close this incredible chapter . . . well, maybe novel is a best way to put it . . . we say good bye to our blog, but we don’t say good-bye to you as we invite you all to find us on Facebook under Laurina Panas or Marcel Panas . . . there you will be able to continue to watch our family as we experience new joys together. And you can always email us at panasm@telusplanet.net and we’ll be happy to give you an update anytime!!!

With all of our love,

Laurina, Marcel, Alex and Andrew Panas

We leave you with this poem, sent to us by a mom we know so well who's little boy shared time with our Andrew in the hospital who now shares heaven with him too.

What Makes A Mother

I thought of you and I closed my eyes
and prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother
and I know I heard him say,

"A Mother has a baby.
This we know is true."
But God can you be a Mother
when your baby's not with you?

"Yes you can!" He replied
with confidence in His voice,
"I give many women babies,
when they leave is not their choice."

"Some I send for a lifetime
and others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb
but there's no need to stay."

"I just don't understand this God,
I want my baby here."
He took a deep breath and cleared His throat
and then I saw a tear.

"I wish I could show you
what your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile
with other children and say.."

"We go to earth to learn our lessons
of love and life and fear.
My mommy loved me oh so much
I got to come straight here."

"I feel so lucky to have a Mom
who has so much love for me
I learned my lesson very quick
My Mommy set me free."

"I miss My Mommy oh so much
but I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep
on her pillow's where I lay."

"I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
and whisper in her ear,
Mommy don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I'm here."

"So you see my dear sweet one,
your children are OK.
Your babies are here in my home
and this is where they'll stay."

"They'll wait for you with me
until your lesson is through.
And on the day that you come home
they'll be at the gates for you."

"So now you see what makes a Mother.
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of
right from the very start."

"Though some on earth may not realize
that you are a Mother until their time is done
They'll be up here with me one day
and know you're the best one."
- Jennifer Wasik

Recently, we took Alex to see his here, Thomas the Tank Engine. He, along with about 100 other 2 year old Thomas groopies went crazy when the engine with the big eyes rolled out. But the most exciting part, at least for Laurina and I, was to bump into a special little guy and his mom and dad. Noah, pictured here being held by his dad, spent quite awhile with Alex and Andrew in pod B at the NICU. We hadn’t seen them since we had been discharged. Noah’s mum was in the room the day Andrew fell asleep. Very few people ever got to meet Andrew. It’s incredibly special to us when we get to meet up with one of Andrew’s pod mates. It’s comforting to experience positive connections back to those days such as Noah and is family.

Laurina is gone on an overnight work trip. They spent the long weekend at the cabin. He must have known why we visited his new school last week (where he will be starting early learning for his speech next fall) as he came back from the cabin with a whole new vocabulary. When was ask what’s in his diaper he’ll either say “poop!” or “Both!”. He says “bug” all the time since he watch “Bug’s Life” about five times at the cabin. We walked by a group of kids playing lacrosse and he yelled “hockey!” so perfectly. Up until now he’d refer to hockey as “goal”! Now every sport that has a ball and/or puck is “goal” but hockey is hockey.

While at the park, today, I really noticed his vocabulary improvements. I was sitting on the bench while he went running around to the other side of the equipment. All I could hear was “daddy! Daddy! DADDY!” when I realized it was actually Alex calling me to watch what he was doing. This was the very first time I actually heard him call for me using daddy. He says mum lots, but today was my day. The funniest moment was him watching another mum and two kids playing hide and seek. The mum would sit on the slide, cover her eyes and count to 10 and go chase her kids. A few minutes later, I watch Alex go to the slide, sit down, put his hands over his eyes and count in his own words “bla blue blee Gooooo!” and away he’d run. It was the funniest thing to see him pick something like that up.

Today was our first official nose emergency too. He came to me and pointed at his nose when I saw what I thought was a booger popping in and out. I got the Kleenex and had him blow . . . and blow . . . and blow until out popped out a little plastic something or other he’d found. This is the first time that I’m aware that he’d snuck something up his nose. We’ll have to watch that! It made me happy that he came to tell me that it got stuck, at least!

He also knows when he’s doing something he’s not supposed to be doing. At grandma and grandpa’s, he gets in trouble if he tries to eat puppy dog, Lasha’s, food. At the cabin, he snuck a piece of her food again. Laurina and grandma saw this but instead of saying anything, they pretended not to notice just to see what he would do. He snuck around back of the play house and started to lick it . . . thinking no one was watching. When he saw Laurina and Grandma laughing, he went completely behind the shed to finish his contraband meal.

Alex makes us laugh on a daily basis. He’s the happiest little guy I know.

Today is Laurina’s birthday and she’s enjoying her special day on a sand buggy in the middle of a Qatari desert with Auntie Carla and a family of Bedowins. Meanwhile, Alex and I are trying to keep the house together waiting for her return. The truth is . . . daddy has had it quite easy with all of the help from Grandmas, Grandpas and Aunts and Uncles!

I’ve tried not to say too much on here as we don’t want to make mummy feel too sad. But I know Alex really misses mummy. Whenever the phone rings he yells “Mum!” or when I walk in the door I hear the stamp of feet with another yell of “mum”. Although he smiles when he sees me, I think he’s a wee bit disappointed. Who can blame him . . .

Alex and Baba have had a really fun week together. I’m not sure who is more exhausted when the night comes. Laurina may have a difficult time getting Alex to eat when she gets home as Baba has been treating Alex to all kinds of yummy, if not a little creamy, food!!! I’m sure we’ve both gained a few pounds this week!

Happy Birthday mummy!!!

I know, I know . . . it’s been awhile and we have so many fun pictures and stories to share from Easter, etc. But here is one from tonight . . . Alex really enjoys hockey. Mom has to keep previous games saved on the PVR so as to provide her with some breaks in the day. He points at the TV and yells “Goal!” when he wants to watch some hockey. But now that the weather is nice, Alex loves to play hockey more than watching it! He’s actually got a really good wrist shot! He already broke his hockey stick in half so daddy had to tape it up.

Today was the first day we heard him say his own name! We were about to go outside to start our hockey game when I said “OK, Alex go!” and he yells “Alex Go!”.

The next few weeks should be quite interesting around here. Laurina leaves for 2 weeks to visit Auntie Carla in the Middle East. It will be a contingent of grandparents, aunts and uncles to keep this daddy sane!