Now that the Winter Meditation retreat is coming to an end at Birken, I still feel I need to continue taking a break from computers. When I actually stop to think of my past use of computers, it's actually rather scary. I've been doing the following almost non-stop, leading right up to my new life at Birken:

• using computers, on average of 50-70 hours per week
• using Windows (for 13 years, ever since Windows 3.1)
• using Linux (for 11 years, ever since Redhat 4.2)
• At one point, I owned 8 computers all at once! And they were all in use for some purpose or another.

Let's also throw into the mix a 4-year B.Sc. in Computer Science, 5 years experience as a Systems Administrator (working for Analog Design Automation, now acquired by Synopsys, and also for Business Objects, who has now been acquired by SAP). I also did a brief stint (9 months) in "Enterprise Technical Support" at Sophos. Plus, I've been the general "Office Tech Support Guy" and webmaster at Birken ever since I began living here as a resident.

Could it possibly be, dear reader, that I may have just gotten a little too deep into the world of computers? I'm thinking so. During this 3 month meditation retreat, when I actually really stopped using computers (for any considerable length of time), I went through some serious withdrawal symptoms. I'm blown away at how addicted I am to computers! I'm still not quite recovered either. Case in point: here I am writing a blog entry!

That's why I think I need to take a continued "sabbatical." Who knows, this sabbatical may just last the rest of my life. We'll see. I'm planning to keep off the computers until right up to my birthday, Sept. 18th. We'll see how that goes. Wish me luck! I'll need it.

I've turned over the reins of being Birken's webmaster to Scott Nelson, whom I am extremely grateful to. Scott, to you I say a big Anumodana (which means: "We, the Sangha, rejoice in your merit," which is the Buddhist Monastic's equivalent of "Thank You")!

I also want to say a big thank you to to my teacher, Ajahn Sona, who has been patient and supportive as I work with overcoming this addiction. Also very instrumental has been an excellent book I'm reading (and highly recommend) called "When the Body Says No: The Hidden Cost of Stress," by Dr. Gabor Mate. It's opening my eyes to deep-seated behaviors I learned in my childhood that have led me to the compulsive and controlling attitudes I have towards computers. Waking up to these insights is so heavy that it's like being run over by a freight train. Let's just say that the term "coping styles" is the term of the decade for me.

I'm going through a big time of growth, dear reader! It's been rocky at times, but I know I'll be much better off if I can stay the course.

Once I'm done reading "When the Body Says No," I'll also probably move into to reading another book by Dr. Mate that's making the rounds here at Birken, called "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters With Addiction."

Note: As of now, I'll only be checking my email once every three months or so, and I have freshly updated my previous blog entry entitled "What is the best way to contact me?" (in case you want to contact me, and don't want to have to wait as long as three months for a reply).

OK OK, just one more blog entry before the Winter retreat. :)

For years now I've had an assumption that Psychology (in general) had little to offer me, as a body of knowledge. After all, psychologists mainly help people who have got more-than-usual personal problems, and I only have a "regular" amount of personal problems, right? I'm reading an earth-shattering book right now (written by a professional psychologist) that I have simply got to blog about. It is the best "self-help" book ever, IMHO. I wish somebody had put this book into my hands when I was 10 years old. This book is densely packed with the most amazing and practical wisdom on how to communicate effectively and compassionately with your fellow human beings.

First, let me tell a little story. Our newest Anagarika at Birken spent six months at one of our affiliated monasteries, the Bhavana Society (before coming to Birken to ordain as an Anagarika). I was asking him one day about how things are generally different, from a cultural perspective, over at the Bhavana Society. He mentioned that whenever a new person joined their community, if that person's communication skills could use some brushing up (or perhaps if they were downright "emotionally immature"), the monastics at Bhavana would invariably refer that person to one particular book in the Bhavana Library: Non-Violent Communication: A Language of Life, 2nd Edition, by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph. D. ISBN 1-892005-03-4.

I took his hint, swallowed my pride, and began to read the book myself (which is also in Birken's library). Excellent move, Subharo! This book is a "master work," IMHO, and would be a part of all school curriculums, if I had my way.

It turns out that this book is a classic, well known to many people who visit Birken. It just hadn't come my way yet. This book is such a big phenomena that there's an official website advocating the message of Non-Violent Communication (or "NVC" for short), as well as a certification program for people who want to teach these skills professionally.

Here's a few juicy excerpts:

I think the message of this book is very Buddhist-compatible, in the sense that it squarely fits within the Buddhist concept of "Right Speech." Speech is said to be "Right Speech" when:

• It is spoken at the right time.
• It is spoken in truth.
• It is spoken affectionately.
• It is spoken beneficially.
• It is spoken with a mind of good-will.

Non-Violent Communication gives a plethora of practical tools and examples in order to learn how to do all the above, and explains the ways of thinking and understanding which can help lead to what the author calls "Compassionate Communication" (which I see as being effectively synonymous with "Right Speech").

So in closing, let me try to state why VNC is so valuable to me, using the NVC "formula:"

When I acknowledge the need we all have to communicate with each other effectively and benevolently, it makes me feel elated to know there is a practical and thoroughly-explained technique to do so: namely NVC. It also makes me feel sad when I think of all the times in my life when I've put people off because I was not able to clearly and respectfully voice my feelings and needs. I have a need to develop and partake in Right Speech, so would you, dear reader, be willing to join me and consider reading this book?

You may recall my earlier blog entry where I explained what GnuPG is (and why it's nice to be able to encrypt and decrypt your email: privacy).

Now that I have a new monk name ("Subharo"), of course I was eager to get a new email address involving this new monk name (rather than my "layperson name," ie. Dustin Harriman). And now that I have that new email address, of course I need to generate a new GnuPG keypair to go along with that. Thus this blog entry to announce the GnuPG public key for this new email address.

Here is my new public key, ready for you to easily import with FireGPG. Once you have FireGPG set up nicely in Firefox, simply highlight the entire "PGP PUBLICK KEY BLOCK" region (ie. all of the smaller, fixed-width text), then pull down the "Tools" menu -> FireGPG -> Import.

A final note: After importing my public key, I would also appreciate it if you emailed me as well with a link to where your Public Key is (so I can import it myself). See you on the flipside, where we can communicate privately.