Dropping him off at Playschool this morning was even more difficult than the day before. He would NOT let go! I was finally able to distract him long enough with a singing Elmo doll so I could start backing away. When he realized I wasn’t within reach he came running after me. The teacher ran interference and tried to distract him while I made my escape. The funny thing was that myself and two other mothers were making the same sprint to the door as their own little ones followed them yelling “Mummy! Mummy!”. The three of us got to the bottom of the stairs with the cries of our children behind us. It must have been quiet the scene.

I figure it takes Alex three days to get used to change with mummy not around. When I took him to the day home today and handed him over, I waited for the tears and the arms but he went about his own way and didn’t even wave good bye. Sheesh. I’m not sure which is worse!

Things didn’t improve much this evening. On the way home from the day home, Alex was as joyful as ever. Singing away, waving at every person that we passed. Then Melissa, his respite worker came for her weekly visit. Alex usually loves when she’s around. But, once again, he did not want to let go of daddy. Bit by bit, Alex felt more comfortable when Melissa would bring out a toy. He would reach for it as best he could with one hand while he was holding on to my shirt with the other. When he realized he would have to let go of me to get the toy, he was no longer interested and came crawling back into my arms. Eventually I was able to sneak away and hide in the kitchen but it wasn’t easy. I think he really misses his mummy.

And in an updaet to the "Cheer Up!" project, with still three months to go until the big draw, over $10,000 has been raised for the pom pom fund! We can't believe the support. Three chairs have already been orderred with more soon to follow. Thank you, everyone, for your support. We know that one day, a baby will get to go home with their parents because they were held in these chairs . . . that may not have otherwise.

Today was Alex’s appointment at the NICU Follow Up Clinic at the Glenrose. The morning started quite early for Alex as he was ready to go at 6:15 am. After breakfast, Laurina took him to run around the park for as long as he could handle it to tire him out so he would have a really good morning nap and be ready for all of the afternoon’s activities. It worked.

The hospital visit lasted over three hours. It started with a visit to the Psychologist. This was the highlight of Alex’s day, if not his month. He had a great time. I have to admit, as proud as I am of Alex’s abilities and accomplishments, I found out today that I don’t give him nearly enough credit. He continues to amaze me. The Psychologist started Alex with a board of 8 pegs. He removed them all and told Alex to put them back. I wondered why he would start with such a hard test but before I knew it, Alex had them all in the correct place. I was floored. I had to wipe a tear away. He found the ball that was hidden (like the shell game). He figured out how to get the ball out of challenging places. He’d throw the ball, roll the ball. He’d pick out spoons, balls, combs from selections of objects then demonstrate how each is properly used. He put the little pills in the jar and the big blocks into the cup. He stacked blocks in threes. He didn’t point to objects in books when asked, but he’d look at the correct ones. He even put the round peg in the round hole and the square peg in the square hole. (Yes, they still use that one). I wondered how he would sit through an hour of tests without going nuts, he did, and he could have stayed for more. He sat on my lap the entire time. As one test would finish and be taken away, Alex grinned and could hardly contain himself as he bounced in anticipation of what would come next. We’d clap and cheer every time he’d accomplish a task. He loved the positive reinforcement (who doesn’t?) and, when he’d successfully complete a task, he started to grin and look at us proudly . . . waiting for us to cheer. We did. And he loved it. The Psychologist was very happy with his skill level and determined that his cognitive ability is perfectly normal for an 18 month old. (Although Alex is 22 months, we still adjust to his due date for such purposes). He gave us a few tips to nudge him away from some infantile play he might revert to now and then as well as some advice on lengthening his attention span on tasks.

Then it was on to the nurse and Doctor for his physical examination. Alex weighs a whopping 28 lbs and is about 34 inches long. Almost three feet and is not even two years old. That’s a bit scary. The Doctor examined his muscle tone and walking ability. She was very pleased with all of his motor skills. This was, perhaps, one of the most significant moments of the day. We often think back to the ultrasounds on the brain when we were told of a “spot” that was observed. They said that it was in the area of the brain that affects motor skills. And here we are, and all is “normal”. Each of the professionals we saw today quickly ruled out any possibility of Cerebral Palsy . . . surprisingly quite common in children born so early (often due to the brain bleeds in the early days like Alex and Andrew had). No problems here. On to the next station.

The final health professional to spend time with Alex was the Speech Pathologist. This was very interesting. We know that Alex can understand very well. He follows instructions and understands many words. And this comprehension grows every day. He is still a bit delayed on expressing his own words which we knew. The SP gave us some tools and tips on how we can encourage him to talk and to assist in developing this form of communication. We think he’s progressed quite a bit in the past week so we anticipate he will soon start getting the hang of it. Even then, no one is really concerned just yet.

By time we were done, Alex was pooped. As were we. After everyone left us, the emotion hit. It came out of nowhere. I couldn’t help but think how far Alex had come. It’s difficult to explain how big this day was to our family. And, we’d think of Andrew. When someone would mention how Alex interacts with others, I’d picture him playing with Andrew and having them learn from each other. I then wondered how Andrew would have done today. As I composed myself, Laurina gave me a hug as Alex obliviously played about. I said “Alex, family hug” and he stopped what he was doing and came over and he nuzzled into our legs as we all embraced. That was a special moment. Even as I write this now, the tears are beginning to form and I have to thank God for my family, our blessings and our miracles.

In the picture, Alex enjoys playing with the water toys as he tries to get the courage to go down the little slide. We take him for toddler swimming lessons each Saturday morning.

Thursday is Alex’s big day at the NICU Development Follow-up clinic!

We started back with swimming lessons again this past weekend. Laurina and I take turns taking him on Saturdays. He’s not a big fan of laying on his back in the water but he’s showing more interest each week in jumping in from the edge. He’s almost mastered the art of blowing bubbles.

The surprisingly warm weather this week has allowed us to spend some bonus time outside where Alex has turned into the neighbourhood greeter. He waves at all of the cars that drive by. The drivers enjoy waving back. He’s gotten to really like airplanes . . . as soon as he hears one he looks for it in the sky then points to it when he sees it. He often points to birds in the sky before we notice them. He’s usually wearing his glasses at the time but we’re quite thrilled with his site and have few concerns there.

This Thursday is Alex’s 18 month follow-up appointment at the Glenrose Rehabilitation Hospital to assess his development. But has it really been 18 months? This will be his second appointment since being discharged from the NICU (a regular procedure for these little guys). If they spot any areas of concern, the idea is to provide assistance as early as possible as that yields the most favourable results. We received a lengthy questionnaire that we had to complete based on observations we’ve made as parents. It took almost an hour to go through all of the questions which included assessing his motor skills, social skills, communication, etc. The medical team will then review our answers and discuss them with us. They asked us to set aside up to three hours for the assessment on Thursday. We’re actually looking quite forward to the appointment. We really do not have any concerns and feel that Alex has progressed remarkably well. This all brings to mind a discussion we had with one of Alex and Andrew’s doctors in the first month or so. It was the moment where we stopped being “just” the parents of sick babies, but, rather, became an active part of the team taking care of them. By this time, we had heard from so many health professionals that the boys might not be able to do this or that. It was a common type of discussion we had heard many times. In this particular meeting, the doctor said “Don’t expect Alex to be an Olympic Athlete when he grows up” with regards to his chronic lung disease. It was at this point where the light came on and we said “Why not?” We just don’t know what Alex will be capable of, he had already surprised many people by the mere fact that he was still with us at the time. So it was at that moment where we, as parents, started asking the question “what WILL they be able to do” rather than focussing on what they may NOT be able to do. It was then that we started to celebrate every accomplishment . . . no matter how large or small. From a tiny bowel movement to the day each boy was able to breathe on their own for the first time. There was no accomplishment more important or significant than another in our eyes. And this is why we celebrate every one of Alex’s accomplishments today. No matter how big or small because they are all big to us.

Alex was really excited to leave for his first day of school this morning as you can tell in the picture. What you don’t see is that mummy packed his back pack a bit too full and just seconds after snapping this priceless shot, he fell straight backwards! We’ll be carrying his back pack for a little while yet.

All things went quite smoothly. Alex was the only toddler today so he got lots of attention from the teacher. (They have snack and play time with the bigger kids throughout the morning so he’s not alone for too long). Mummy was able to sneak away without too much drama. It wasn’t so easy for me. I slowly snuck my way to the door, when Alex saw that I was no longer near, he looked up at me, stretched his arms out and ran straight for me. Although a bit heartbreaking, it’s also most heart warming. I got turned his attention to some big tractor toys and was able to sneak out. Apparently, he shed only a couple tears after I’d left before being immersed in the toy section.

It was mummy’s “night off” tonight so Alex and I hung out together. We know that Alex just loves big dogs and it seams like everyone was walking their dog tonight. As Alex and I went for a run, he would scream at every dog that we passed by. We came up behind a couple walking a really huge retriever, when Alex screamed as loud as he could, scaring the poor lady in front. I didn’t know what to say so I just said “Sorry, he really likes big dogs”. Then Alex laughed and laughed. Something tells me he knew exactly what he was doing.

Although Alex really hasn’t begun to talk just yet, we think that his language has completely changed the past week or two. We think he’s talking his own language more using complex sentences that only he understands. Not as many repetitive sounds like “mamama dadada” these days. And I’m finding that he really likes to repeat some of my words. When I said it was time for a snack and made the “num num” sound,he would go “num num”. We played this game a couple times. He’d go “num num” and laugh and laugh. Then I’d smack my lips together and say “Oh, that’s good” and he’d go “smack smack” with his lips. He’s starting to do this with me with various sounds more regularly these days. Laurina pointed out that he’s never done it with her. So we elected me to help Alex with his vocabulary.

Even after all of this time, there are moments when you flashback to those early days. And, although the days between these moments are a bit longer, the tears are never really that far from the surface. Today was one of those days. I stumbled upon a blog site of another set of girl 24 weeker twins . . . Holland and Eden. Reading their stories just brought back so many memories and with them, the tears. These girls are now four and have each experienced similar challenges and different challenges of their own. What remains constant with us is the love and devotion their parents have for them.

I often wonder about other parents out there. At what age do you stop going into your child’s room before you go to sleep and lay your hand on their back . . . to see if they’re still breathing? I don’t think I’ve missed a night yet.

Alex had his first swimming lesson of the year yesterday as daddy ran the Stollery Children’s Hospital fun run. Alex quickly mastered the first lesson . . . blowing bubbles in the water. He’s a natural.